Defenceless under the night

Our world in stupor lies;

Yet, dotted everywhere,

Ironic points of light

Flash out wherever the Just

Exchange their messages:

May I, composed like them

Of Eros and of dust,

Beleaguered by the same

Negation and despair,

Show an affirming flame.

— W.H. Auden

DUST

composed of dust, born of dust, returning to dust

that is perhaps now clear from our last discussion on Shatner, Kubrick and Freud

as we touched on Thanatos

our bodies, our minds, arising from the void of the great cosmic expanse, a place so full of inorganic lifelessness, it sends a shiver down the spine

a ‘deepest darkness' of Shatner's actual travel beyond our sliver of an atmosphere

perfect material for the existential horror genre, oh 2001!

yes, in reality, we ARE surrounded by a lifelessness so grand it's beyond any decent contemplation

this is the undeniable Thanatic element that Freud was showcasing with the death-drive

a natural pull towards inertia

just physics

PSEUDO-EROS

the abyssal experience of Thanatos can be a LOT to take in

fitting material for the 'Weltschmerz' genre (literally meaning world pain), an experience so debilitating that, in some of us it forever alters our vagal tone, essentially chronically freezing us, dulling us

'hope, what for, if there is only a void awaiting'

this can naturally and rationally lead to nihilism, immobilization, dissociation

lead to a life of Pseudo-eros

we are alive, showing up for life, going to work, the bar, the gym, having sex, kids, careers

but we are numb

you can see it all around you, most likely feel it in you

connections, conversations, relations meticulously curated for comfort, civility, control

sex is active but dull, devoid of the outrageous!, divine, blissful, ecstatic

food is food

love is love

life is… life

pseudo-eros

a bland, fragrance-free, colorless aliveness

a deafening silence

EROS

… and then,

there is always a twist (available)

a strange beauty re-enters stage, once again

from this flatland, vast depressing landscape

arises EROS

aliveness with a pulse

bloody wild

tender

crazy sweet

shocking

outrageous!

that's EROS

a miraculous force against the immense thanatic and pseudo-erotic odds

"Pseudo-Eros, mimics the qualities of Eros but lacks its depth, honesty, devotion. It leads us toward fleeting joys and shallow bonds, missing the deep fulfillment true Eros brings. It's essentially our intelligence numbed, dulled, in an almost anesthetized state, where the vibrancy of genuine connection is replaced by merely an echo. It's a trauma reaction of sorts, the brutal reality, the wounding is just too intense to feel, to bear. The dorsal vagal branch freezes us on all levels, potentially for a lifetime, with interspersed glimpses of freedom, of beauty, of love. Tears usually well up from deep within those instances, sweet, endearing, genuine, pure liquid gold, the only substance warm enough to catalyze the erotic thaw."

— Denisa Rensen